I always thought my past relationships failed because I had sex with them without being married. I thought God was punishing me and making me miserable because I was a slut. So I waited until my wedding night to have sex with my husband, and I ended up even more miserable with him than when I was slutting around. So what was the point?
I tried to be a good wife and do things God's way. I was supportive and obedient and loving and faithful for the first seven years. (I had a cyber affair for the last year of my marriage, but hubby never found out about it.)
A year or two into the marriage, I was more miserable than I had ever been in my life. At church they said that if you're having trouble dealing with life, put God first by reading your Bible and praying to get close to Him and then you'll be able to deal with stuff better. So I did that, and I did get closer to God and things got a little better, but then my hubby lost his job and refused to get a new one. After six years, I finally gave up and called it quits.
So what went wrong? If I did what God wanted me to, then why would He let my marriage fail? Was I just not strong enough? Should I have stayed in the marriage even though I was severely depressed? (I've been a completely different person since I booted him out a few months ago.) If I'm going to be miserable whether I obey God or not, what's the point?
I tried everything to make my marriage work. Even my own minister, who had told us that divorce is not an option when he married us, told me that I should divorce him.
Or maybe God's punishing me for being an adulterous slut. But I was just as miserable for the first seven years I was faithful as I was for the last year I cheated. In fact, I was happier for the last year because I had someone who actually cared about me and paid attention to me.
BTW, there are no kids, thank God. I wouldn't want to be dragging innocent little kids through this mess.
You tried to do things right. But your husband wasn't!! Gosh what the heck was up with him? Laying about for you to support..???
That isn't a real man! I don't know if I could have put up with that either- unless he was diagnosed with some mental illness and that it wasn't just him being a jerk.
Do not blame God. That man wasn't doing his part.
And next time oh boy will you be fussy.. It isn't the sex that is so important. I can tell you why did my marriage failthat. Sex is okay, but sex isn't everything- as you found out.
The sex can be great, but if the man is mean- so what? The sex can be great- but if the guy is a total slob and a jerk- so what? that won't make up for the rest, will it?
If the guy is super in all ways and maybe the sex is so-so- well, if you love each other, you will work on that together.
God bless you- and be SUPER choosy next time. I am sorry this worked out like this for you.
I like 摩登 Day Puritan comparing a failed marriage as "a bump in the road". I'd hate to see God's "hills".....a death? A disability? A murder? Love how religious people water down tragedies as nothing more than a "bump".
Maybe you thought it was God's way, but it wasn't.
Just wait, God sure does have a reason for this.
You might not know now, but it will be revealed.
and remember, God doesn't promote the evil.
Just don't give up.
God bless.
=]
You make your own decisions, hon. There is no sky daddy, and no punishment.
Maybe your radar on "guys" setting needs to be turned up.
Who said that it failing wasn't God's way?
God's way didn't involve you having a cyber affair. That was you giving into temptation instead of asking God for strength to resist temptation.
Don't blame God for your mistakes.
Happy Birthday.
Always put your friends first. Everything will come crashing down if you put your "sweetiepie" first. You can't trust your honey buns until you love them in every possible way.
Nothing wrong with trying them out. :)
First off, chill with nthe bible AV儿劣*, it'll ruin ANYONES life. Live for yourself, and find someone who will make you happy, in the bed anbd out.
If you came to God thinking you would have a peaceful life forever with no bumps in the road, then you came for the wrong reason. James tells us that we should rejoice in our trials. Here's why: if we can go through very difficult times like you're going through, and still find peace and happiness in the one you call "Lord", then you will find your satisfaction alone in Him, and know that your faith is solid. If you are questioning whether there is a God, then you need to go back to step one and do what Paul recommends and examine yourself to see if you are truly saved. That's the first step. If you know that you are saved, then cwhy did my marriage failontinue to be obedient to His word, and understand that the hard times will pass.
Because there is no God.
NOBODY knows what is really in gods plan. we can only guess. you are a goddess and a queen. I think your too much woman for one man.
When we make mistakes in our lives, God loves enough to allow us to go through the consequences, like a good father should. You say it was God's way, but not having premarital sex is just one small pixel in a very large picture. Let's not forget life isn't easy, and your husband refusing to get a job isn't anyones fault but his own. You are struggling now, that's for sure, and I hope you are able to find peace. Just remember, God has a way of making good come from the bad, even if it's not when we want it. Hang in there.
I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now. I do know how you feel.
When I was diagnosed with brain tumors and was in the hospital, I asked for some spiritual counseling the night before my surgery. Well, they didn't have a pastor but they did have a nun. So I asked Sister if I was being punished by God for all my earthly sins. Sister asked me a very simple question that stopped me cold. She simply said "Do you think that you deserved to be punished this way?". When I said I didn't know, she responded with "God does not punish His children this way". She went on to tell me that if I had asked God for His forgiveness for my sins then He had already forgiven me and there was nothing to punish me for.
Perhaps instead, God is trying to teach you patience. Believe me I haven't always been the most patient person and I know that God doesn't give me patience but He keeps giving me opportunities to show patience.
Please don't beat yourself up. Take the time that you need to reflect about what YOU want. What makes YOU happy. Take a few months or a year and just focus on you. Stop trying to change yourself or be someone you aren't just to please someone else.
Trust me, when you start to take care of yourself, mentally, physically and spiritually, the right guys will notice. But for right now, focus on your own well-being.
No comments:
Post a Comment